I just had an epiphany last night while reading a certain book. Lately I have been reading/researching a lot of neat, far out shit like metaphysics, ether material, mind over matter, etc. The book that slapped me in the face and woke me up is kinda like "The Secret," but way better. Let me explain: a lot of people think that I'm an idiot and that I must go out and cause trouble because I kept getting into street fights. People that know me, or even who just have met me briefly, discover that the truth is the opposite, I always insist that trouble "finds me" and that that I just mind my own business, but no one wants to buy it. The REAL truth is: IT'S ALL MY FAULT! I bring/brought this shit on myself... NOT through my physical actions, but through my subconscious mind. EVERY time I go out, in fact even just thinking of going out, I worry, I OBSESS, over getting in fights and in trouble. I constantly say, "Every time I go out something bad happens. I just mind my own fucking business but it never fails, that some asshole, will start a fight with either me or my friends," and I avoid going out because of it. The times I DO go out, I worry the entire time about bad shit occurring. I spend so much time and energy thinking of it, that the world brings it to me! The law of attraction working against me because I never understand it, apply it, or truly believed it. Through my worry and thoughts, I demand that the trouble find me! Don't dismiss my words as "mumbo jumbo," this shit is real! I REALLY don't cause trouble! I swear it! It comes to me! And it's my fault! My fault because I wasn't controlling my thoughts! It's the only explanation for so much shit! My grandfather & my lawyer would always say, "C'mon Jon, you must be doing something, this shit isn't happening to anyone else. You don't see Matt Hughes or St. Pierre or other 'famous' fighters getting in trouble." Yeah, because they aren't obsessed and terrified of it! The more I think about the power of thoughts, and put it against past events in my life, the more I see it effecting me both positively and negatively. EVERYTHING I have ever set my mind to, obsess on, has happened. 5th grade, I obsessed on a "6 pack," and by 6th grade I got it. I use to OBSESS over the fear of losing my father as a kid because he was all I had and I never wanted to see my mom again... at 13 he died in my arms... OUT OF THE BLUE, young, 39, and in shape! I fucking killed him! That's fucked up... EVERY girl I ever wanted, obsessed over, I got! In H.S. I obsessed about being a Navy SEAL or a UFC Fighter and going to The Citadel for college. I went to The Citadel, I got into the UFC and my 2 best friends are SEALS!! WTF!? When I met my wife, I told her, "one day we we're gonna get married," (after 15 mins. of being in her presence and like 3 words spoken). The list goes on and on and and the PROOF is undeniable. I have brought EVERY thing that's happened to me, both positive and negative. I doomed myself to this jail cell for a year & I fucked off A LOT of great opportunities along the way. The recognition of all of this makes this year the most valuable year of my life! Now I KNOW that my future will be GREAT. I fucking KNOW it because I HAVE THE CONTROL. I am not worried about more trouble, I'm not worried about shit! The days of fucking myself, are over! I have written a plan down, signed and dated it, and at the moment this plan is realized I will present that plan to the public as PROOF! Remember this blog because it will serve as further proof for those that doubt the paper I show once my plan is realized by all.
Okay, besides the subconscious self-destruction, I have been consciously doing shit wrong as well. I already KNOW that I can beat the shit out of any normal (non Pro MMA fighter) human in the world, so WHY do I feel the NEED to defend myself? I get punched in the face several times/day in training. Worse comes to worst and some idiot hits me... What's one more gonna hurt me? Although, I do BELIEVE everyone has the HUMAN right to defend their self; it's apparent it is no longer "legal." And I obviously can't do what I love in jail, so yeah. From now on, I'll just be like The Terminator and if someone attacks me I'll just look at them, as if I am made of steel and am indestructible, confused as to what they thought would happen when they decided to punch a cyborg... LOL. Man I can't wait to get out there and live! Excited to have figured shit out! Even more excited about the plans I have made! Anyway, I have been getting overwhelmed with mail the past few weeks so please don't take offense if I don't get back to you. Those 54¢ stamped envelopes add up quick! I appreciate all your support though! Like 8 weeks or so left!!
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